Cesc for Captain

Oi, gimme the f--king armband!

5 non football related reasons why Cesc should lead the ARSE wipes this Tuesday against Dynamo Kiev:

1) Everytime he scores, he gives us a glimpse of his sexface (refer above)

2) Because Cesc has his own show and the rest of the squad don’t.

3) Cesc can speak French. And Arsenal is a <insert country domination> club

4) Because Cesc plays for Spain, and we all know what Spain accomplished last summer *gloats

5) He is the awesomest 21 year old player in the squad, nuff said. Samir Nasri is almost there imo.

So please Monsieur Voyeur, stop sulking and do the right thing!

On a serious note, this is why Cesc should replace Gallas

Foul

Things I don’t quite get:

1) Pricks like Joey Barton still playing top flight football, and being branded a role model. W-T-F

2) Football players clapping or giving the thumbs up after receiving a crappy pass from their teammate. So you appreciate mediocre long balls or the sucky idea that he would want you to chase after a ball that will definitely go out of play?

3) Soft back pass to goalkeeper. I mean seriously, if you need to pass it back, don’t do it half-heartedly.

4) Footballers kissing the badge. Ok not just any footballers, but those who just joined the squad like not too long ago. Stop abusing such meaningful act. We know you’re gonna leave when the money comes calling. Pfft!

5) Women who hesitate or count to 10 before stepping on the escalator. C’mon, I’m late, bitch…get on with it already!

Countdown to January Transfer Market

I’m not sure how I manage to log on and update this. But anyway…

Dear Rafa,

I know it’s too early to speculate, and who knows LFC might not even want to buy and/or sell any players

But gawddammit, we need a missile launcher!

Enter the WMD!